Ok. So I'm just going to start eating this:
Celery Sticks Yuck, but it helps you lose weight!
Carrot Sticks
Soup
Salad
Cereal with low fat or no milk.
Ephedra or Green Herbal Tea
some minor weight lifting, maybe.
Crackers, Cheese, Ham & Turkey stackers
Alli Weight Loss Pills
Water Water Water & lots of it everyday.
200 Situps
2-4 Miles walking/jogging.
i'm a 16 year old male, hoping to lose all of this extra needless fat crap so please help me!! I can't afford a personal trainer :D
Thanks.

I've lost over 100 pounds, so here are my thoughts on what you've written:
Make sure the cereal has whole grains and no processed sugar.
Low fat milk is fine. You actually need some dietary fat in your diet.
Avoid the cheese and ham -- they're loaded with fat. And make sure the crackers have no saturated or trans fats.
Wait, I just noticed your use of the term "stackers." Is that some sort of brand? Like those lunch in a box things from Kraft? If so, avoid them -- they're full of bad fats and other bad processing. You should always avoid processed foods as much as possible -- aim for whole foods.
YES to water! I drank about three liters per day, but that was because the heavier you are the more water you need. Basically, every 30 minutes I would swallow 15-20 mouthfuls of water -- very easy. People love to say that "water is boring," but trust me -- you'll get hooked on it. It's just completely clean and is what your body truly craves. However, I would "reward" myself with some Diet Sierra Mist a few times daily it's low in sodium.
200 situps sounds a bit excessive, but go for it. Just do them carefully so as to not strain your back and/or neck muscles. Google "crunches" for some good workouts -- old-fashioned sit-ups have largely been discredited as causing too much strain.
As for walking or jogging, the distance is not as important as the time commitment. Trust me, 30 minutes of very brisk walking is really excellent exercise. By the way, I greatly admire you for doing this now when you're so young -- I can't believe how lazy I was for so many years.
Finally, I'd think long and hard about taking any diet pills. Take it from one who tried many, many, many diets -- it's absolutely true that weight loss is primarily a case of "calories in, calories out." In other words, good foods and water and exercise will eventually make the extra weight go away. All the pills are really going to do is create more work for your liver. I strongly recommend doing this naturally -- you can sustain it in the long run much easier.
Oh, and the REALLY big thing -- do not weigh yourself daily, or even weekly. Nothing will discourage you faster than stepping on a scale and not seeing a loss from the previous day. Doing the daily scale routine sets up very high hopes and expectations, and they're very easily dashed. I found that even doing it monthly was actually detrimental, because part of me was expecting BIG losses during a month's time. It is far better to just gauge your weight loss by how your clothes are "growing."
Best wishes to you!

ok, for sanity...bc this will last a week if that...just eat less of everything you eat now (but in addition only stick to healthy foods) and run everyday, and it will come off by xmas
good luck!